Answers???

Well, I might have some answers about Ryann's condition. I finally broke down and called the doctor about her crankiness. He said that it didn't sound like she had enough symptoms for it to be an ear infection, especially since it has lasted for so long. He told me to pump and see how much milk I'm feeding her on average. I did...it's enough quantitatively. He then told me to put it in the fridge and see how much fat settles to the top...TADA! NONE! Answer: You're starving your baby!

I guess it makes sense now. She would nurse and have enough fluid to be satisfied for a short time, but there wasn't enough fat and protein to keep her full long enough. She'd then wake up extremely early from any nap I could get her down for, hungry and cranky. She'd nurse and then be really tired. I didn't think she could possibly be tired yet, so I'd try playing with her and keeping her awake...only making her more tired, cranky, and hungry...then the cycle would repeat.

I knew I was low on milk by the end of the day so I'd been supplementing her before bed with formula and she'd sleep peacefully through the night...it all makes sense now. If I was a cow, I'd have been culled a long time ago!

So, in any case...despite the fact that I nursed Reiny for a full year, we have begun the weaning process with Ryann so she can be happier and healthier. I suppose I just have too many stresses in my life right now to produce good enough milk to sustain her, but in any case, I have to do what's right for her.

I've really struggled with giving this up, but last night as I fed her a bottle and she stared up at me and smiled slightly, I felt at peace with my decision. This is what she needs now, and I'm going to do what's right for her.