The Real Meaning behind "Because I Said So!"

I had a real Mommy "ahh ha" moment today. Do you realize how often we tell our kids to do or not do something without explaining ourselves? Most of the time the underlying reason involves eminent danger or hurt feelings or even just to save time later. For instance, "Clean up your room!", "But why, Mommy?" Rather than explain ourselves we say "because I said so" when in actuality there is usually a better explanation such as "because the dog is in the house and if she sees that room full of toys your new babydoll will look like a World War II victim. Then you'll be crying and upset and nothing I say or do will ever put the arms and legs back on that doll." It takes too long to explain ourselves in this way, so instead we say "because I said so." However, to a child, that has no real meaning. "So what? Just because you said so? That's just plain rediculous...if mommy can't come up with a better reason than that...I'll just do it anyway." I imagine that's how Reiny felt today when she deliberately disobeyed an important instruction I gave her.

Here's the story: Reiny wanted to play outside this evening. Fine. Please put on some socks and shoes. Nope. Ok, not going to fight you on this...just stay on the patio. She played well on the patio for a while and then of course, I had to go in to use the bathroom. Before I left I said, "Stay on the patio! Don't go anywhere else!" To which Reiny replied "Why?" In my hurry to make it to the bathroom before wetting myself I said "Because I said so!" Had I made my realization earlier, perhaps I could have saved her from what happened next. While in the bathroom, Reiny wandered off after the cat...down through the driveway (which is all rock and no cement), around the garage, and into the back field behind the garage. Low and behold, waiting for her there was a nice, big bush of stinging nettle, and yes...she was still barefoot! I came back out just in time to hear her hair-raising shrieks of pain! I run to the back of the garage and scoop her up. We head into the house and I frantically search for a remedy for stinging nettle on the internet. I make the suggested paste out of baking soda and water and cover her injured foot in the goop. We wrap it with Saran wrap and wait for the stinging to disapate.

Well, perhaps if I had actually explained myself a little better to begin with by answering her "why" with "because there are sharp rocks and sticks as well and ouchy bushes out there that could really hurt you and I would hate for you to have to stop playing to sit on the counter for an hour with your foot wrapped in goop, while you cried your eyes out" she would have stayed on the patio. Instead we got this: