Pictures Speak Louder than Words

I so need to update this blog!!!! We've been doing so much stuff lately and I need to document it, so rather than write a huge dialog, I'll just post the pictures!

I love bathtime now! It's so cute with both my girls in the tub together. Reiny always wants to help me wash Ryann, which sorta scares me, but oh well!

I love when my parents come to visit! Reiny loves when they come too. My Dad must have read 100 books to her this trip, and she would have had him read 100 more if he could have handled it! FYI: I don't have any pictures of my Mom from this trip cus she seems to think she's not photogenic (I would disagree)...I'll get her next time.

Awww...too cute!

Attempting to take nice pictures with my new camera posed more difficult than I originally anticipated...this one turned out ok.

This was the only nice face she made for any of the 100 pictures I took of her!! Little stinker!

Scary Flashbacks...

I'm feeling a bit apprehensive...at least that's what Jordan says about himself. Anytime Jordan is anything but positive and optimistic, I'm nervous and scared for the future. The truth is...I'm VERY scared for the future. The end of 2010 has had some striking resemblances to the end of 2007 and the start of the year from HELL, 2008. The list is continually growing, but here's a few of the more scary flashbacks: we were audited in Dec. 2007, one week after Reiny was born...I just got audited again Nov. 9th, 2010, a week before Ryann was born. We had a new baby in 2007...we just had our second baby. We lost a bid on a huge project at the end of 2007...we just lost a bid on an even BIGGER project on Monday of this week. Due to some unfortunate accounting, we showed a huge profit at the end of 2007 and ended up paying a substantial amount of money to the IRS in taxes in 2008; so much in fact, that we actually had to take out a loan to cover the taxes!!!...no getting around it, we made money this year...enough to pay a substantial amount to the IRS again in taxes.

The list continues to grow...which only scares me further. I know that the reason 2008 sucked so bad dealt almost entirely with the way I chose to deal with these unfortunate and difficult situations, but what's to keep me from doing it again. That year was so horrible that even the thought of living another day of it seemed unbearable to me. I just don't think I could make it through another year like that. Not with all I have to do now.

I've been a bit preoccupied lately, what with the newborn up all night and all...but the last 2 days, as I've sat and pondered (freaked out, really) over the similarities of the end of this year and 2007, I've made a commitment to get up, get my day started, and accomplish all I can in that day. Yesterday was stressful, but I did get a lot done. Today was less stressful and I accomplished some tasks, but is that really enough?

I hate relying on other people, and I'm not very good at taking criticism...yes, I can openly admit that now. How do I get past these imperfections in myself so that I can be better in 2011 than I was in 2008? I'm scared. I'm scared to talk to Jordan about these fears. I'm scared to post this where people can read it...I'd much rather post cute pictures of my girls or stories about how funny and lovable they are, so that people don't see all my insecurities. If I do decide to post this entry, I guess it's my way of asking for help. Please help me. What advice do you have to get through this next year?

It's been a few weeks now, and my concerns are only growing...I think it's time to post this...

Ryann Eliza

Born: Sunday, November 14, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Weight: 7 lbs
Height: 20"

Well, she's here!! We had a doctor's appointment on the 12th and my blood pressure was up a little bit and I had lost more weight, so my doctor sent us to do a non-stress test at the hospital. The tests came back fine, but my doctor still thought we needed to get the baby delivered, so he sent me in to the hospital on Sunday to be induced. I wasn't crazy about this since I kinda wanted to go into labor on my own, but if he thought it was time, then I wasn't going to argue.

We got to the hospital at 7:30 am on Sunday and by 8 am they started me on antibiotics since I was Beta Strep positive. Then around 9:30 am they started the pitocin to induce labor. Just as I remembered, labor is painful!!! I did much better this time with not yelling at Jordan and telling him how bad he sucked for doing this to me, but then at about 11:30-12:00 pm the pain got to be a little too much and I got an epidural. Thank heavens for modern medicine!!!

My doctor checked me at 11 am and I was only dialated to a 3, so he said he was going to go home for some lunch and then be back. At around 2:30pm he came back and said "Well, let's see if you made any progress." He checked me real fast and then said "Ok...I better hurry and change cus this baby's coming now!" I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time cus like 2 minutes before he came in to check me I almost said to Jordan "it feels like I should push," but then I thought that I was being crazy. Turns out I wasn't!

The doctor got back and I pushed through 3 contractions and pop! out she came! She was perfect and doing so well that she got to stay in the delivery room with us for over an hour before they took her to get washed. I cried. Jordan cried. It was the most amazing delivery ever!

She's absolutely beautiful, and as soon as I get my pictures back from Mary Kim Photography, I'll post some more pictures.

Eastern Idaho State Fair 2010

Every year we go to the state fair in Blackfoot, Idaho and enjoy the booths, displays, animals, and concerts. This year we made an extra effort to get there early enough to do it ALL!!! I think that was a bit of a mistake given how pregnant I was for this trip! My back and feet hurt so bad by the time we got done and I was a bit on the cranky-side, but at least Reiny had a good time, as usual.

This year she was finally big enough to ride some of the rides at the carnival. She went on the ferris wheel with her Daddy and the attendant lost track of how many times they'd gone around. They were on the ride for like 20 minutes! I thought they'd never get off! They also had this little boat ride where the kids get to "steer" the boat and ring a bell. She looked so serious on this ride, like the safety of this vessel depended solely upon her dilligence! Jordan and I got a good laugh from it!

That night we went the the Kenny Rogers concert...who knew that guy was even still alive! I knew exactly one of his songs, but surprisingly, had a good time! He's one funny old guy, and you gotta give it to a guy who can still snag a 30 year old in his 70s! Reiny and Wyatt called it quits pretty early into the concert and crashed on the benches. They were so cute laying there together that I had to get a picture! We drove the whole way home that night, which put us in at about 1 am, but at least we had some fun and made some memories. I can't believe how fast my little girl is growing up! She does so much for herself these days, and is almost like a little adult. 3 years went by too fast!

New Mexico Trip

Back in August, we made a trip to visit my parents in New Mexico. It's been almost 2 years since we'd been there, and I'd almost forgotten how much we love visiting New Mexico. We also chose to drive the whole 16 hours down there and back with Reiny! I was a bit worried about how she'd handle it, but she did awesome, so I can't really complain. It saved us a bunch of money over flying and we had a good time enjoying the ride down there. We stopped and visited Dave and Lauren and the kids the first night and then went to Durango, Colorado the second night. Reiny got to swim and ride her bike so that was a lot of fun. The trip home was long! We drove from my parents house all the way to Idaho Falls in one leg! Reiny did far better than I did!! In any case, we had an awesome time and loved loved loved visiting my parents. They really did cater to use. We went to the Santa Fe children's museum, the park, the Albequerque Zoo (for baby elephant, Daizy's, 1st b-day), rode the tram to the top of the mountain and had dinner at the restaurant there, and we went to Bandelier National Monument which Reiny just loved! On the way to New Mexico, we stopped at Hole In the Rock in Utah and went through the house carved into the mountain and the petting zoo. This trip was just so relaxing and fun. We also learned that Reiny can swim! She's always been too afraid to let go of us in the water to venture out on her own, but in Durango, she did it!!! I was amazed!!

Out of Control with this Hair Thing!!!

I must admit, I'm secretly so happy that I have a little girl and another one just 35 days away from being here! I love doing hair. I always have. Some of my best memories were sitting in front of the tv letting my sister do cool things to my hair, and practicing new hairdos on my dolls or My Little Ponies. I love hair!

Anyway, recently Reiny and I have been experimenting with some new hair-styles. She's getting much better about sitting still for me to try new things as long as I tell her she's going to have "princess hair" when we're done.

Here's some of my recent favorites!

This one took a little bit of time, but it lasted for 2 days, which was a bonus! The second day I pulled all her hair back into a ponytail, so it looked different.




This was fun! Reiny was really excited to try it too. I was afraid she wouldn't be able to sleep with the curlers in, but she did just fine. My mom used to do this to my hair when I was a little girl, but my hair never held the curl like Reiny's did! Eventually the curls did relax a bit and she looked more normal. I think next time I'll use the bigger curlers on her hair.






This last one I actually saw on a girl at a volleyball tournament I was at last week. It looked so cool that I just had to try it on Reiny. She really liked it too!

First Haircut

Back on June 27th I gave Reiny her 1st haircut EVER!!! I washed her hair, sat her on the counter with a bowl full of M&Ms, held my breath, and began cutting!!! I was so scared that I would make her hair so uneven, but surprisingly...it came out pretty good!

It's been a couple months now and I swear her hair is thicker and healthier than it's ever looked!

Here's some before and after pictures.

Family Remembrance

Last weekend Jordan and I got to be involved in something very special regarding his family history, and until Aunt Pat sends us the pictures she took of the event, I thought I'd blog about some of the details while they are fresh in my mind.

Jordan's great-great grandfather, Rock Vizina was married to a young lady named Eliza Dishno. They had 3 children together, and unfortunately, just 2 days before Christmas in 1883, Eliza and the youngest of the children David (2 years old) were killed in an avalanche about 10 miles south of where Jordan and I live now. Rock was working in the mines at the time and the oldest two children were pushed out of the little log cabin by the snow and miraculously survived. Unfortunately, Eliza and David were buried inside. She was only 24 years old at the time. They were buried at the base of Spring Mountain, about 3 miles south of the town of
Gilmore, Idaho.

This last Saturday, relatives from every branch of Rock's line gathered from as far as Michigan to come and place a permanent headstone on the graves of Eliza and David. It was amazing to see this event. It was amazing to see the legacy that Rock left behind. All that remained of the original wooden headstones was...well, nothing but a wood plank. In the 1920s someone carved new headstones out of wood for the mother and son and placed them on the graves, but only David's was somewhat legible, and the date was actually incorrect.

Just for my own info...Rock remarried a young lady named Angela Navarro and they had 10 children together. Their 3rd child, Helen Josephine, was the mother of Rosemary Coleman, Jordan's grandmother, Jame's mother.

Family history can be so fun and interesting when you dive in and actually have some of the living relatives that can share stories from the time periods you are studying. Such a wonderful weekend.

Reiny had fun gathering wildflowers to place on the new marble headstone...so cute!

Missing My "ME TIME"

Well, it's official...Reiny has given up her naps altogether! How is this possible? 3 weeks ago she was napping beautifully...not just beautifully, but beyond what was normal! I would feed her lunch, take her potty, then just lay her down in bed and walk out...BOOM...out like a light for 3 HOURS!!!

Now, for the last 3 weeks I have been desperately grasping at straws trying to get her to sleep for even just an hour during the day...NO DICE!!! She's done...bird-finger, Mom...I've got more important things to do (apparently that includes bouncing up and down on my bed and taking off all my clothes and throwing them out of the crib).

I guess I should be grateful that this most-difficult adjustment has come now as opposed to 3 1/2 months from now when I'm trying to deal with a newborn, but still...she's only 2 1/2 years old! My sister's 6 year old still takes naps during the day! Beyond that...I NEED NAPS DURING THE DAY!!!

So here's my plea...if any of you wise mothers have any suggestions for me that are more helpful than my husband's ("just get over it...she's not tired") then please let me know. I've tried having more activity in the mornings, less activity, book reading, less sugar intake...pretty much everything I can think of short of drugging her to sleep, which at this point seems like a viable option. If not...I'll learn to deal with my very active and emotional child's new schedule. With any luck, I won't need medicated for this!

How...just HOW...

am I supposed to do this?

Today is not the best day. Perhaps blogging with the hope that someone will have some words of inspiration will be enough to pull me out of my fits of sobs and on to happier things.

How am I supposed to be a wife, mother, and business partner? The roles I'm forced to take on sometimes makes me feel like I'm not doing any of them justice.

As a wife, I rarely have a suitable lunch or dinner prepared for my family. The house is neat and tidy, but the dust and carpet stains keep thickening.

As a mother, I typically spend most of my time in "survival mode" just making sure Reiny's basic needs are met. Is she fed, is she clean (no...well that can wait 'til tomorrow)? I'm not the fun mom that arranges cool summer projects and fun and educational learning activities for my 2 1/2 year old. I'm lucky if bedtime routine starts early enough that we can actually read a few books together.

As a business partner, I spend most of my time in the office now, arranging shipments, ordering parts, filing monthly and quarterly and even yearly taxes, juggling the finances when the amount of incoming bills outnumber the amount of customers who feel it necessary to pay by the deadline. I'm not out in the field anymore...working where I love to work. I won't be bailing hay this summer, because I'm a mom and someone needs to stay with the child while she sleeps. I'm the one on the phone arguing with the shipping people about the fact that my parts were supposed to be here last week and they're still not here!

Meanwhile, my daughter is at my feet sobbing because she just wants mommy to play dolls or dress-up or even just hold her for one second. My husband comes in the door at the end of the day, exhausted and disgusted with how his day went, and looking around there's no indication that I've managed to accomplish anything with my day...dinner's not fixed, the shipment's still not here, and his daughter's not been bathed in a week.

Now here I am, 5 months into my 2nd pregnancy just picturing what this time next year will bring...even less time with my husband as he attempts to pick up the slack for his wife who, believe it or not, is not super woman, a 3 1/2 year old who just wants Mommy to play dress up, and an 8 month old crying because she hasn't had her diaper changed in a month. I still won't be the best wife, mother, or business partner I could be because that's too many roles to fill well.

Where do I let go? I can't stop being a mom or wife, and if I quit helping with the business then Jordan will certainly find himself in jail because there's no way he has any idea the amount of paperwork it takes each month to keep him legal.

I need a miracle...