Easter Sunday

Today is Easter Sunday and I couldn't have asked for any better Easter gift than the one I received...SUN!!! Yes, it is sunny and 60 degrees here! The snow is melting (leaving my yard quite flooded!) and the birds are back. Reiny wore her new Easter dress to church and looked absolutely adorable with her new sandals and freshly painted toenails...I haven't taken a picture of her in this yet. I'm hoping to get some professional pictures taken of her in this outfit before too long. Maybe I can get Catherine's photographer to take some cute Spring pictures of Reiny...ok, now I'm rambling.

Jordan even surprised me with a new Easter dress. I haven't had a new dress for years! It's brown and yellow...well, I'll just take a picture of me in it and post that later!

Yesturday, Reiny went to her first Easter Egg Hunt down at the Leadore Rodeo grounds. It was so funny watching her! She would pick up an egg, hand it to me, I'd put it in the basket, then she'd take it out of the basket and throw it on the ground! She did, however, learn how to unwrap suckers herself. I think she ate like 3 in 5 minutes! The Easter bunny also made an appearance. He was the scariest bunny I've ever seen! All that was missing was the big cigarette hanging out of his mouth! In any case, it was funny to see Reiny running from the Easter bunny and eating her candy.

This morning, Reiny woke up and came into the kitchen to find that the Easter bunny had brought her a basket of goodies! She ran right to the basket and grabbed the pink bunny and left. We eventually got her to see that there was more in there for her. It was so much fun to celebrate this holiday with her. Last year she was too little to care, and maybe she still is, but it was fun for me if nothing else!

Here's some pictures of our weekend.

Feeling Good...at last!

I'm sorry if this post seems too personal, but since this blog has sorta replaced my journal, I feel it important to document my feelings and major life-changing events. It's no secret that I've been pretty down this last year. I don't really know what it was, but I just felt so alone and beaten that giving up before I started seemed like the best option. I would read other people's blogs and think "what is wrong with me...they seem so happy." Perhaps it was the combination of a very busy and stressful lifestyle combined with becoming a new mom, but in any case, it seemed much bigger than me.

I've had to do something that my very nature has never allowed me to do before...I had to rely on other people. Daily calls from my sister and even unexpected trips became necessary. I cannot even describe how trapped I felt, and how scared and alone I was making Jordan feel.

This last week, Jordan took it upon himself to tell his Dad that we needed to leave the ranch, possibly for good. He said he was sorry, but he didn't know what else he could do to help me. He thanked his Dad for helping us get our start, but explained that I was the most important thing to him.

After I heard him say this it was like I had an out-of-body experience. I thought "NO NO NO! This is NOT what I want! I love this place. This ranch just defines me as a person. I feel good here. I feel important here. I feel needed here." In any case, something snapped! It's as if I just woke up from a bad nightmare and discovered that I'm actually in paradise. I appologized to Jordan, and that night went and appologized to his parents, and for the first time in so long, I feel good. I feel whole again, and I feel like my father in Heaven is here guiding me. I wake up happy. I go to bed happy. I look at my beautiful little girl and feel so so so happy. She tears my house apart, and I feel happy! I get run down by an old, mean cow, and believe it or not...I feel HAPPY!!! That's actually a funny story which left some very interesting bruises...Jordan says I bruise like a peach! I do, I really do! I guess that what I'm saying is...I'm so happy with my life. I'm so happy to feel like me again. I'm so happy to have a husband that loves me enough to sacrifice all of his dreams for me. He is such a good man and a great father.

I'm so excited for the future. Everyday I wake up, kiss my husband, and smile. I am so lucky to have what I have, the greatest family, friends, and home. Thank you to everyone who let me lean on them this last year when I didn't have the strength to hold my own weight. Thank you to everyone who kept up correspondence. Your messages meant a lot to me, and thank you most of all to Jordan, who never gave up hope that someday his wife would return. I'm home, I'm really home!

Side Note: I came across these pictures today. So so blessed...